Take a seat, Ivy. I can call you Ivy, yes? ... ... ... Good. I can see you're nonverbal at the moment. Totally fine. You have your phone, and you can type. So, as you know, I am Dr Circe Constantina, and I wanted to just do a quick check-in to see how you are doing after yesterday. I know all this has been quite a ... shock to the system. Ha. Sorry, just a little joke to lighten the mood.
So I know you do regular therapy on Wednesdays, but I was hoping you would consider working with myself and my team on Thursdays to unpack what is discussed during sessions. Of course, that is entirely your choice. You can choose to say no. ... ... ... Very good. Thursdays it is.
So, Ivy, I appreciate that what happened yesterday is a very big deal. And revelations like that can be incredibly scary. But I want to assure you that you are real and legitimate. Would you like to tell me what's on your mind currently?
... ... ...
I see. You're worried your parents will be angry if they think that you might not "be the original." That they will resent you for "stealing their child's identity."
... ... ... And that they already attribute members of TPCP for failures in accessing the gender affirming care you desire most. And blame them for this... ... ... I am sorry to hear that, Ivy. Truly, I am. But let me reassure you that you have no reason for guilt or shame for dissociative episodes. Or for the development of this very System.
Now... In regard to this idea of an original... ... ... Allow me to break down this idea, if you will.
There is a lot of confusion around this because people assume, rightly or wrongly, that they are meeting "the original" upon a first meeting. That they must be "the core", as it were. The one whose body you all co-inhabit. That you also must be "the host" - the one who fronts the most. But there will always be nuance. After all, if you meet someone once, do you learn everything about them based on one social interaction? ... ... ... Exactly. It takes a long time and there are so many layers, both physical and invisible that we have to work through.
You will find that many people even call this way of thinking outdated as it strips away the legitimacy of other alters.
This concept of an "original" can be quite triggering for some people with DID due to the implications it carries, such as suggesting that other members of the system are less "real" than others, or that some parts are inherently more important than others.
Whether you choose to accept this or not, these feelings are valid.
But ... ... ... the person I see before me. The one who has all these friends... who has built this community... that is Ivy.
Whether you are the "original or not", there is only one Ivy. And that Ivy is loved. And respected. And valued. And I hope that through working together weekly, we can help build that self-confidence and self-worth back up after years of systematic pressure and erosion.
How does all that sound?
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