Me ex messaged me again recently.
Well, I say ex. He were a guy off Grommr, that I took a liking too. He apparently liked me too. And we moved off the app and onto Facebook Messenger. We were talking about meeting up. He even wanted to marry us.
I know. Talk about moving fast. But this were after two years of being single and watching me ex move on with me friend.
Coudn’t keep pining for connection and then not seeing where it led.
Well, I tell you where it led. Me blocking him after he asked, in no uncertain terms, if I had any female friends that he could fuck as he wanted to get a woman pregnant. Not because he wanted kids. Oh, no, because it were a kink. And apparently I wouldn’t do because I weren’t born with the right equipment for the job.
So yeah... I block him after he ghosted me for about two weeks. Left me on read and then said that... get this, his mam had stolen his phone and wrote that message. Funny how she wrote in his exact cadence. With the same blue love heart, which, when combined with our red made purple; what we once described as our love.
God, I were bloody hopeless. But I had me self-respect. Me pride... Took many years to get there, but we got there.
Anyway, I continue to use Grommr and Feabie. Chat to some lovely bears and gainers.
And who comes sidling up as if nothing happened, but the ex. With a brand new account. I didn’t recognise him at first. Partly because his new profile pic were of his shirtless stomach. And partly because I had done me best to move on from him. But I remember seeing where he were located and got suspicious.
Then he confirmed it. Sent loads of gushing messages. How he missed me. How life without me were not worth living. That he wanted to kill himself if I did not reciprocate and rekindle our love.
So... I blocked him again. For good this time.
Maybe it were harsh, maybe cold, but he were not the right guy for me. And I am glad were stood our ground.
Because I ain’t no one’s fetish. Me body is for me to appreciate. And to share with those I trust and love. And dismissing me womanhood because I am trans and haven’t had surgery yet is a sure-fire way to get blocked.
I am confident in me skin. Hell, the apps helped me grow as a person. And taught me that I can say no, walk away, and not feel guilt-tripped into a one-sided relationship where I would be treated as little more as an object.
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